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 Zeb Goertzel's Amazing Web Page 



 Zeb Goertzel

Zeb when he was 3 or 4


 Zeb is 9 years old, and as of now (2003) he's almost done fourth grade at the Wheaton Woods Elementary School ...

He reads, writes and draws a lot.  He's also a big fan of his Gameboy, and of Nintendo 64 games like "Zelda: Ocarina of Time" and "Zelda: Majora's Mask," "Dragon Warrior Monsters," "Pokemon Gold" and on and on and on....

He's also a dangerous swordsman, so watch out...  And his piano compositions, though simple, knock his dad's socks off with their creativity & musicality.  The music world will hear more from Zebby, that's for sure..



Click here to be astounded!

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Here are some of Zeb's excellent stories... some new, some old...


Zeb's Real Writing


The big big little little kiddle kiddle bug



Zelda ZZ

Skip and Scamp Get Lost

Pokemons First Movie, Zeb's Version


Escape From Mew



Fighters Kill Idiots

Justin Boob

Gun Wars

Gum Wars

Zeb's Star Wars Dream

Odd Wars

Thing Wars

Window Wars

Zeb's New Dream

Zeb's StarHobbitWars

Zeb Wars

More Zeb Wars



Dinosaur War

The Dinosaur Universe

Animals in the Stars

About a Pig with Animals

Zeb's First Story



Zeb's Star Wars Game Dream

Zeb, August 2 1997

There's a dead person, and Gwen takes the dead person and makes something out of them.

I made something out of Legos. I made something that's a little like the thing that Gwen made out of the dead person.

Gwen made the same thing as me and I made the same thing as Gwen.

Zar was doing a fighting game on the computer, and I came in, and Zar said to me "Do you want to play?" and I got lost when I was playing the game, from blowing up. And you, Ben, helped me know where I was, because you knew where I was. You were in that place where I was in the game. You were on top of the roof of the taxi car, and I was in the trunk, and the taxi car was driving itself inside the game. The taxi was inside one of the spaceships inside the game, inside the Star Wars game.

The Dinosaur War

June 1997

Luke Skywalker and Lord Vader and the Tyrannosaurus Rex are on the planet where all the dinosaurs are and all the Tyrannosaurus Rexes are. The pterodactyls there are looking for Tyrannosaurus Rexes.

Luke and Vader almost killed all the Tyrannosaurus Rexes by chopping their necks off. But the Tyrannosaurus Rexes were fighting back with their hands. But they killed it by chopping its head off.

When they killed it they found out where all the other people were like Leia and R2D2 ... they found out from the dinosaur's bones that they were in the Star Wars Universe. But then the dinosaurs bones came alive again, only as bones.

The bone Tyrannosaurus killed Darth Vader and the Emperor and Grand Admiral Thrawn. And it killed Joruus C'Baoth too. But it didn't kill Luke. It only killed the bad guys. The bone Tyrannosaurs was a good dinosaur.

But all the dinosaurs kept growing bigger and bigger. And all the pterodactyls broke in through glass into the Star Wars Universe, and the glass broke all of the other dinosaurs like the Tyrannosaurus Rexes. There were infinity different kinds of Tyrannosaurus Rexes. But the kind with only bones is a kind of Tyrannosaurus Rex.

Now Luke and his friends try killing the pterodactyls. Luke killed all of them by chopping their wings off. Then they couldn't fly and they fell down and they died when they hit the ground.

But some of them came back to life when they hit the ground, and they tried to kill all the other people, and the other people tried to kill them and then Luke chopped their heads off to make them

Killed forever.

Then Luke found out where more pterodactyls were coming from, and he killed them by chopping their heads off.

And now it's really DONE.

Dinosaur Universe

By Zeb Goertzel, Age 3

July 5, 1997



It's going to be about some movie with Zar and Zeb and Ben and Gwen inside it and Herazade too. Dinosaurs are in the movie too.

In the movie, the dinosaurs tried killing Zar and Zeb, but Zar and Zeb shot them in the face with their light sabers. And Gwen and Ben and Herazade had light sabers, and so did Zeb's friends so they all killed them.

They got in the movie by finding out where the movie was, and jumping inside. They got inside the movie and found out they were in the Star Wars universe and they found the Emperor, and they poked out Darth Vader's eye and the Emperor's eye. Zar poked out the Emperor's eye and Zar poked out Darth Vader's eye. Then Luke poked out the other bad guy's eye Jorus C'baoth's eye. But when Luke did that, then the Emperor's eye and Darth Vader's eye came back in. Then we did it again and again we poked out their eyes again and again, and they grew back again until we were back in the dinosaur universe.

The dinosaurs almost bashed us back into the Star Wars universe again, and finally they did it and the dinosaurs went into the Star Wars universe too, and killed all the bad guys that were in it, and none of the good guys. The bad guys stayed killed with their eyes poked out now.

Luke tried killing the dinosaurs, and he almost killed a dinosaur, but by the time he killed it, he had killed it already. Then Luke found out where all the other dinosaurs were. Darth Vader and the Emperor came back to life and killed the rest of the dinosaurs with Luke. Luke tried to kill even more dinosaurs that were invisible 'cause some dinosaurs were invisible. But then Zar and Zeb turned invisible and Zar and Zeb looked like a dinosaur they weren't dinosaurs, but they looked like dinosaurs, to the air, because the air can see things that are invisible. The air attacked Zar and Zeb but Zar and Zeb killed the air, and then there was no more Star Wars universe, and no more Tyrannosaurus Rex universe, so they had to go into hyperspace and everyone had to live in hyperspace inside their spaceships.

All the good guys were in Zar and Zeb's spaceships, and Zar killed the Emperor again, and Zeb killed Darth Vader. And R2D2 and C3PO and Chewbacca weren't there, but Zar and Zeb noticed where they were, and went to where their house was, and made them appear they had been disappeared. And then they had a kind of poison that makes people disappear, and they put it on Zar and Zeb it made them invisible in a way that you can't see them and you can see them. But when you can see them again, then you notice that they look like dinosaurs still! And when they look like dinosaurs still, then you notice that they look like a laser beam gun, trying to kill all the other dinosaurs, that don't look like themselves. And when you notice that they look like a laser beam gun, then they look like a TIE fighter. And when you notice that they look like a TIE fighter, then they look like a telephone, and then like a building. And when you notice that they look like a building, then the look like a house. And when you notice they look like a house, they look a computer. And when you notice they look like a computer, they look a laser beam again.

And now it's done.

Animals in the Stars

by Zeb, September 1996

There are animals in the sun, and there are little animals in the stars too, little animals that grow up into big animals

Then they went outside of the stars, they drove in their cars, they went out to the store to get some food

And when they got their food, they drove back home in their cars, back inside of the stars

And they saw their dog there

About a Pig with Animals

by Zeb, October 1996

The pig went up the bump. Then it fell down into the water. Then the frog came in and the frog told him about an ant. Then the rabbit came in and the rabbit called a dinosaur to come.

Then an airplane and a helicopter came. They tickled all the animals -- that's what they did. Then a frog came and then went away again.

Then a striped bear came. Then they peeled the striped bear -- they peeled it with a kinfe and a fork, that's what they did. Is that silly? Then they ate it, they ate the skin of the bear. The bear couldn't eat when it was like that!

Then another pig came. Then the pigs went away from those guys. They went back to the zoo, because there were more animals in the zoo, and they wanted to let the animals out of the zoo. But the animals will go back in the zoo, though, after they have a play. They run around and walk to their house, and then they go back to the zoo -- that's what they do. Then they get out of the zoo and they go to their friends' house.

And then they hear a cow. The cow went to its brothers' house.

Then a fish came out, and the fish ran around with feet. The fish had feet! Some fish do, and some fish don't. I have a book about that.

Then an ant came again, and then another ant came, then a ladybug came, then a pillbug came, then a motorcycle came. They were all having a birthday! They were all having a big birthday! Then some more animals came in that big birthday.

A bug came out of the ground -- and then the ground cracked, and they fell in the hole. And then they found dinosaurs in the hole, and the dinosaurs ate them. And the dinosaurs came out of the hole and got the rest them and brought them into the hole and the dinosaurs ate the rest of the animals.

Then the women all turned into men.

Then another cow came to it's friend's house, and the cows did play with the toys that they found at their friend's house -- is that silly? The dinosaurs were just stealing the toys and taking them down into the crack in the ground.

Then another pig came. And the other pig ate people like a pig. It ate pigs too, and I ate pigs too, for lunch. My butt too, my butt ate some pigs too.

It's the end.

Zeb's First Story

September 1996

Fishes are swimming in the water.

But then they got killed

Then they went away. They went away to the city.

Then they went into a house. A person lived in the house.

Then the person put the fishes back in the water -- that's what the person did.

And then the fishes came out again -- they came out from the fishtank, out through the door of their fishtank.

They went out a window of a house and then they went to a city out the window. The same city again.

They just went to a house in the city. That's what the fishes did.

They went into their room and slept in their bedroom in the house -- that's what the fishes did.

They stayed in the house and stayed in the bed. They were just sleeping in the bed.

And then the fishes went in a spaceship. And then the fishes went back in an airplane to the city. And then they were getting food, from the house.

The person's name in the house is called Nobody. The fishes are all named Fish.

Then the fishes go back in the house -- then they might go back in the fishtank.


The car was in the house and the car crashed and the car was in the street and the car was in the ceiling, and then it crashed into the ceiling.

And then it went into the house again. And then it went on a cushion. And then it crashed into a bag. And then it crashed into a computer.

And then the car cracked open.

And then the car fixed itself. That's what it did.

And then the car crashed into a person. Then the car crashed into numbers. The car crashed into different numbers.

And then the car crashed into the ceiling again.

And then the car crashed into a drum. And then the car cracked open again. And then the car fixed itself again.

And then the car crashed into a person again. And then the car cracked open again. And then the car fixed itself again.

And then the car crashed into a cover. And then the car crashed into a truck! Then the truck broke. And then the truck fixed itself -- that's what the truck did.

Then the car crashed into a computer again. Then the car crashed into a cat. The cat said "meow!" Then the cat said "meow" again. Then it said "meow" again.