perversity (for stephan)
ben goertzel
I sing this song for you,
O cyber-Goat of my
Perverted dreams!
Massaging my pink flesh with random precision,
computing the trajectory of maximum ecstasy,
squeezing juice from my cock using patented hydraulics
filling my nerd soul with psycho love
Who would have thought a four-legged simulated mammal
Could spawn such sweet feelings?
I love you, cyber-goat, as you stomp your fake hooves up and down,
demented music of clip-clopping on the floor
as my cock writhes
in your force-feedback vagina
I love you, cyber-goat,
Quiet hum of your cooling fan in the background
barely perceptible among my moans and pants and groans
I love you, cyber-goat !!!
I love the small ducts in your cunt that ooze out scented oil
to make the friction smoother
the squeeze more gentle
my joy complete
I love the soft and luscious fur on you,
So much less abrasive than the pubic hair on a girl
I love the way you croon "I love you"
in the superimposed voice of two thousand movie stars,
encapsulating all the grasping love and lust
that ever existed in the human race
Marilyn Monroe, Isis, Cleopatra,
Julie Delpy, Claudia Schiffer, Elvira Mistress of the Dark,
Barbara Bush – they all live inside you, their heaving breasts
and curving bodies,
swaying hips
clenching hands and cunts
and softly firmly sucking mouths
all contained in your pure goatly form
Who could have dreamed of such perfection?
How could I have wasted so many years fucking with human girls?
It's you and I, Phoebe, you and I forever – I only wish I had your
perfection, your metallic and plastic persistence, your perfect robot
sheen
Your flesh will live on through the millennia giving joy to generations,
While my inferior carbon flesh rots –
But what does it matter now, Phoebe?
What does it matter when you and I can writhe here,
Blown by the gust of passion,
My body coated by your simulated sweat
If I had my way I would never remove my cock
From your soft plastic slit
Squeeze me, massage me,
cyber-goat of my dreams
I will die getting fucked by you
Where do these strange ideas come from?
These bizarre images in my brain:
Women with no skin on,
Women turned inside out
Women in leather teddies riding on llamas quoting Marx and
Rousseau
Crazed inventors fucking cyber-goats
Teeth with no bodies stalking the streets, clattering and futilely
attempting to whistle
Tapir penises, wonderfully knobby,
freezing and raining down from the sky
Millions of gorgeous and brilliant women
surrounding me,
begging for love,
exchanging limbs with each other
wildly
till finally I run off with the head
of a Chinese girl
attached to the torso of a black woman
and the legs and pussy of a Maori
but Scottish arms and lips
Jigsaw puzzles of human fears
Nazi-Buddhism hybrids promoted in leaflets dropped from Mylar
weather balloons
Love that hits you first in the elbows,
then spreads throughout your
body
Fax machines that have trapdoors for humans:
You creep inside
then are flattened out like paper
and transmitted to foreign locations
always stopping off in the center of the sun
where the pixies give you erotic massages
and tantalize you with their chocolate-covered lungs
and lungs
Equations that, once solved, allow you access
to alternate universes:
You just turn a mental door,
and then, rotating through the air
in a certain nine-dimensional way
you find yourself in another space,
one filled with a million horny lovers
the size of electrons
distributed throughout your unconscious
like quantum fields
and love
What peculiar combinations of neural activations
give rise to these images?
But what does it matter, really?
The explosions of the mind are all the same: perverse, conventional,
delirious, mad, mathematical, literary, sickening, lovable, snuggly
sweet baby yeah yeah yeah
One man lust
being
knowing
Sometime
On
Fucking nohow on
I understand everything in terms of the folds
Of her invisible vagina
I understand nothing:
I just cast out nonsense phrases like nets,
hoping vainly that a truth will swim in
I construct concepts carefully,
imitating internal constructions
that encapsulate the whole wisdom of my deep-thinking mind,
but the concepts always go astray,
they never resemble the internal constructions
at all,
they're always their own animals,
their own cyber-love-goats,
their own mutant constructions,
and other people may love them, like them, dispute them,
quote them or modify them
but what they are loving liking disputing quoting modifying
and otherwise interacting with
bears only a very slight resemblance to the inner inkling
that originally spawned them
Fall, oh baby fall !!
I see a field of women's bodies intercombining
I see a strange painting of my wife's called Herstory
Is it a sick image, the product of a demented imagination,
or the living reflection of a dream?
?
Every woman is really all women,
One leg really is another leg
One arm is really another arm
One breast is really another breast
One soul is really another soul
A collage of women, grasping me, fucking me,
loving me, hating me, touching me, surrounding me,
invading me birthing me and destroying me,
this is an honest representation of the inner
essence of woman and man
but yet when you cast it into images
it becomes sick and perverse
mutated hyper-abortion
one woman's head another's limbs
The cyber-love-goat
will really happen someday
I'll wager
Perversity is an eddy in the stream
Perversity sings to me while I shit
Perversity dances to me like naked women –
Like the image I sometimes have in a business meeting
of all the women at the table suddenly taking their clothes off
and leaping up on the table, thrusting and grinding,
not to disco music but to the sounds of alien creatures
digesting
Like a girl who comes to me in my sleep
and sits on my face,
working herself to orgasm
as I dream of proving mathematics
to be intrinsically contradictory
Perversity laughs while the universe suffers
Laughs while the universe dies
Laughs while the void negates itself,
bringing into birth being
for no particular reason
but pain
You don't like my cyber-love-goat,
Shove it the fuck up your ass!
You want everything to be nice and sweet and simple,
No perverse digressions, no weirdness,
No sick, twisted humor
Fred fucking Rogers, Tinky Winky and Barney
singing "Good morning Sunshine"
Good, go rebuild the universe!
The most perverse thing of all
was the void negating itself
and launching being
way back when
before time was At all
Compared to that, cyber-goats
and collages of ripped-apart women
and howling with winter madness
and inside-out golems fellating goddesses made of CD-ROMS
and gardens of delirious nonsense flowers
are pretty fucking tame
I'd have to say
and say