Zar Wars

by Zar Goertzel

June 27, 1998


Chapter 1 -- Rain

One day Dick and Dock were on a planet called Merkeera. Half of it was the hottest place in the galaxy; half of it was the coldest place in the galaxy. They were in the basement of their house, they opened the door, and a waterfall fell near them.

"We've got to stay in the basement," said Dick.

Dock said, "Go up, get all the stuff you can before the windows break!"

They got all their food, and half of their other stuff, like their robots. Then looked out again and saw all these little fighter planes flying around and picking up water and dropping it.

People from the continent of Chep are having a war against the people in the continent Seep. "Call the army!" said Dick. He called the army and told them that the blue people from Chep were fighting the people from Seep.

Then they looked out the window and they saw all these red fighter planes from Seep flying around shooting missiles.

Then they saw this humungous ship hovering over all the little blue fighters of Seep. Dick called his army again, and said "Army! send out your two giant ships, with a lot more little red fighter planes from Seep."


Chapter 2-- War


Then the giant ship sent down a huge new fireball. The fireball blew up the city of Vendgo, where they spoke the language Vendgo. Then on the news for the city of Fendgo, it said "Learn the language of Fendgo, it's really good. Here it is:


numbers in fendgo

you say 0 like this wo

you say 1 like this ti

you say 2 like this yo

you say 3 like this zo

you say 4 like this ko

you say 5 like this bo

you say 6 like this cho

you say 7 like this vo

you say 8 like this we

you say 9 like this so

alphabet in fendgo

you say A like this po

you say B like this sto

you say C like this tos

you say D like this kop

you say E like this FO

you say F like this COZ

you say G like this KOS

you say H like this RNO

you say I like this FTO

you say J like this WA

you say K like this AW

you say L like this FO

you say M like this GO

you say N like this S

you say O like this JO

you say P like this LO

you say Q like this DSO

you say R like this AS

you say S like this DFO

you say T like this RTO

you say U like this ZTO

you say W like this TLO

you say X like this GTO

you say Y like this CTO

you say Z like this HO

you say AND like this TOBSO

you say YOU like this TIBSO

you say KILL like this KOKIS"


Dick and Dock said, "that language is interesting, but we don't need to learn languages now.

So, bye bye. We like your language, but it's not time for learning languages -- there's a war happening outside!"

Then on the news for Fendgo, it said "See," and showed a picture, "This ship's about to shoot a blue beam on us, and we're all going to die." Then Dick and Dock saw the man giving the news in Fendgo, and the city, blow up. The man said, "Ow, that hurt!" after a minute. "Wasn't I knocked out?"

The news man was in a very deep basement in Fendgo, so he didn't get hurt that much. He said on the TV, "I'll call the army!"

This was a TV where you could talk back to the people on TV. Dick and Dock said, "No, we've already called the army."

Then do you know what the news man, whose name was Hee, saw when he got out of the basement he was in? Two big ships colored red, as big as Fendgo, blasting at Fendgo with big red beams. It started to fall for a moment. Then, lots of ships came out and boosted it back up. The other ships sent their little army of ships: one was named VF, another was named CF, and another was named KF. Those were the ships they sent out.

AF said, "I've got this one," shot a super beam, and blew up 100 little ships. Then he blew up.

VF said "I've got these hundred ships," shot them, and then he blew up.

The rest of the ships came shooting at CF. He blew up in a giant ball of fire.

Then, a baby was born in Dick and Dock's house, came out of the TV in the house and said "I'm really a big person -- I'm actually a man from the army of Chep. We have machines that can make people come out of TV's. Every house that has a TV, one of us will come out of." The robots took the man that came out and locked them all in jail.


Chapter 3 -- Escape